12 Apr 2010
The Futureheads invite you to a festive orgy…...
HEARTBEAT SONG IS OUT NOW
HEARTBEAT SONG IS OUT NOW – Click here to get it from iTunes
Greetings, our delicate network of followers and fans. We The Futureheads of Sunderland, East North of England, are having an orgy. It starts today and will continue until we fall on our feet, exhausted, ecstatic and slightly damp and withered. EVERYONE is invited.
Orgies have been a popular form of celebration for around the same amount of time that this band has been together. For over a decade now people have been congregating in their millions on sacred feast days, total eclipses and every third Wednesday of the month, outside Jackie Whites’ market in The Bridges Shopping Centre, Sunderland to celebrate the subtle and extreme sensations that the human mind and body can produce and have inflicted upon it.
We have been planning this event since our first gig on the 22.12.2000 AC/DC, the first phase or ‘play’ of this 253 day pheromone fueled fiasco is called ‘The Festival of The HEARTBEAT SONG Festival’. We are sure everyone has heard about this special day, for some time now people have been talking to us about how they are excited about getting the ceremonial headphones out of the hand carved willow display case and lubricating the pulsing brain with sweetly scented sexual sound waves. I know what you are thinking:
WHAT? A specially prepared hymn/anthem to open the orgy on your joining.
WHERE? It will happen in your ears via various online filling stations and record shops.
WHY? It’s The Festival of THE HEARTBEAT SONG Festival doG damn it!!!!!!!!
WEAR? Orgy Socks™ and chain mail slippers. What else would be worn for such a sacred occasion? Silly Billies.
COST? Only £10,000,0,000,0 for every 2 minute 27 second period endured and enjoyed. A Spirexual™ bargain.
Bring as many fiends as possible. A fiend of yours is a fiend of ours. Today is the first day of enrollment and if you don’t register within the first ‘play’ then I guess we’ll just see you next Tuesday.
Thanks for Listening. This is going to be the best Orgy ever. It’s going to be even better than the one Lionel Ritchie had on NYE night 1999. BOOM! Imagine. If you want to get ahead then order the entire festival’s album, composed for the occasion, ‘The Chaos’ is out on the 26th of April but you can get it early for ears now here. You will receive your hard copy when it is formally released in to the high street ether.
The Futureheads. A decade since our formation. Nearly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx